Life is meant to be hard

A serious moment upon the Stoa for a change. Life is hard. It is meant to be. It is the tempering that strengthens our steel and allows us to accept and recognize the changes in our lives.

The only constant about the universe is Entropy. Order will always break down and less orderly structures will take their place.

When we are young, everything must be learned. Life is never more of a struggle then during the first few years of life. You are helpless and subject to the whim of everyone. You have to learn to speak a language, sometimes two. You have to learn how to walk, read, and write. You have zero experience in anything except making noise and smelly messes.

Yet we endure.

Then, as a "Tweener", you start to glimmer the outside world. You begin to understand that life is far larger than your games and your friends around your home or school. You sense the great cogs and sprockets that whirl about you, determining what buses to ride, what you will have for dinner, why your parents won't let you ride motorcycles on the mountain side.

As a teenager, you have a false sense of power. On some level you understand that your parents are still providing you everything. From food to gas for your car, you have the freedom but little responsibility. There is "rebellion" as the teenager struggles to comprehend not just the scope of this huge world, but the complexities of living within it. Some take it seriously while others continue to fritter away their opportunities.

Eventually, the parents are not in active protection mode any longer. Success or failure rests upon YOUR shoulders alone. Bills and food, and repairs, and taxes, and everything else is on you.

Some marry. Facing life's difficulties with a partner is always easier than facing it alone. Hopefully, by the time you begin to have children you will be out of school and in your chosen profession. Not a requirement, but smarter.

Some divorce, and others suffer bankruptcy. Many others endure illness, the death of family members. Others suffer the death of their children. Some lose their jobs and many more lose their faith.

Unfortunately, life sometimes piles these things on you at once. It does not seem fair that this happens to you. You play by the rules. You work hard to get through school. You work hard to get your college degrees, sometimes two of them. You do what is expected of you by society and your family. Yet still, things fall apart. It happens sometimes.

I'm not overly religious, though I am very spiritual. I am Catholic by birth AND choice. That is important. When one is born into a religion, or even yet, a very religious family, the teachings of DOCTRINE muddy of the teachings of spirit. I believe that there are certain rules that we must adhere to while we are on our journey here upon the Earth.

We were placed here. We chose to be here. We chose our family and we chose the general circumstances of our life...before we were ever born. The game must be played through to its entirety or all your efforts will have been in vain.

Sometimes, when your spouse or significant other appears to not respect you, things grow dark. When you have children who look to you for support and constancy, you feel like you have failed them. Things become darker yet. You can not turn to your extended family because you will feel that you have failed them as well.

No where to turn, without tracking mud into the hearts of those you love.

Sometimes, some think it easier to simply remove themselves from the pain. They think that their absence will somehow make things easier on everyone around them. Or, in a more cowardly way, they simply seek to avoid the responsibilities of life.

The greatest sin one can perform is to remove yourself from life before it is time.

This is where I divert from the Stoics of old. They felt that you had ultimate choice in everything you do. When to eat, sleep, or even die. If a Stoic grew tired of life, they felt it just fine to end it early.

Like everything, there are no clear absolutes in life. Yes, you have the free will that God granted us. You have the freedom to succeed beyond your dreams and expectations. But, the sine wave turns down as well. You may fail beyond your worst nightmares as well. But this is not your choice to change, since you made the choice to live in the first place.

It happens.

The true test resides in our ability to endure. Sometimes I think that this is the secret to long life. Endurance. Entropy is real. Things change. Situations change. You may be down and out now, but things will change. They always do. The trick is to position yourself for success when the time becomes right.

This could be job seeking, hobby seeking, or simply finding a new purpose for yourself.

Things change.

Eventually, the family grows up and the children leave. A life that was structured for 20 years falls apart. A new order must arise. That order will rise despite your wishes.

Children leave and are no longer dependent upon you. There may be a divorce as well that leaves you feeling alone and vulnerable. Having a very religious extended family is sometimes a hinderance since you don't wish to disappoint.

Grandparents begin to pass on, along with the older aunts and uncles. Some of them may have been anchors of permanency in your life. Instead of remembering the good and the positive about them, you may only see the new hole in your life.

As you grow even older, you realize that the first half of your life was all about growth and opportunity. The limitless possibilities of a huge and complex world.

You see that the second half of your life has been about managing decline. Your dreams may not have turned out the way you wished them. Your professional life may not have been what you wanted. Your spouse may have divorced you or has passed prematurely. It does not seem fair. Your usual methods of securing comfort have gone or passed.

You have only yourself and your faith. Faith can be a thin blanked when times are dark and cold.

This is where you must endure. Things change. Don't be a shut in. Endure the pain and continue your life. Just keep swimming. It is all you really can do.

You are born into this world by choice. You live your life by your own choice. The only choice you really don't have is when it is to end. That is not your choice. Those that you left when you came to life will take you back when it is your time.

If you hasten this time because you are shirking your responsibilities then it will not end well for you on the other side. You cheated. You broke the rules.

In the end there is only death and a new kind of life. Here you can make a real difference. That is why you are here. You must have faith that what you do makes a difference. That difference does not have to benefit you.

Think about that. Sometimes just being in someone else's life can make a positive difference in their lives. It is not always about you, you know. You may not be the first person on Mars, but you can inspire that person.

You may not be the person to transplant human thoughts onto memory chips, but you can help that person study.

You may not have all the answers to someone else's problems, but you can listen.

We all have our purpose and that purpose may not be apparent to us. Just trust in the idea that you are here an that there are no others like you anywhere else in this vast multi-verse.

Think about this and don't forget. Just keep swimming.

Live well,

--Zavost