From atop the Stoa this day, I don the blue slouch cap of a Michigan regiment for the Union in the Civil war. Not the Confederate gray of Virginia, my new home.
Yes, it is time for another installment history, as seen on the set of a vast bar room, complete with whiskey and women.
So here we go. This will be bloody.
We fast forward about 100 years from the beginning of the Revolutionary Bar Room. The world is not a whole lot different in 1850 then it was in 1750. Great Britain is still great. France is still a world power, though in an obvious state of decline. Napoleon is long dead and Napoleon III is a far cry from his great uncle's abilities.
Austria-Hungary is still a major player, though the rebellions of 1848 have shown the world that it is hardly a stable or safe place to live. Ditto for Russia. The Ottoman Turks are in a free-fall of decline. Their weapons and economy better suited for a Medieval fair than the real world.
The United States has been growing into a precocious young man. Tall, strong, cocky. He pounded Mexico, no PILE-DRIVED Mexico into the dirt and seized vast tracks of land just a few short years ago. Canada understood where it was in relation to the new power to the South. It certainly was not 1777 or 1813 anymore. Populous and Industrial, the US was a force to be reckoned with on the world stage.
So, we find the US at a large table, spread over a large corner of the bar. It is somewhat broken up by region. There is a Northern part of the table, comprised of 16 States in the North, 11 States in the South, and 3 States in the West. In the middle were the Territories.
The North is a busy place. Immigrants pouring in from a sucky European homeland, eager for the fresh start offered by the US. Massive factories and industries are located in the North. The largest harbors and shipping sites for both rail and ocean shipping are located here. Busy and cold, the North was full of hardy folk.
The South was more agrarian, slower paced, and accepting of slave labor. Most of the Southern State's chairs had many, many people tied by a leash to them. In the North, immigrants provided the cheap labor needed in the factories. In the South, slaves provided virtually FREE labor to their plantations and factories.
The West was more interested in Gold than anything else. Gold and trade. We'll get back to them in a while.
Slavery was a big issue between the States seated at that table. The Northern States did not use slavery and never really did since the colonial days. They were also unhappy with having to compete with Southern companies that used slave labor since that meant they could undercut Northern products on price.
Again, the West is crouching down under the table panning for gold in the liquids running out of the bathroom. Lets hope they don't find anything...
Many of the history books get it wrong and say that this was ALL about slavery. It was not. It was as much about economics and political freedom as it was about slavery.
See, since 1787, a Federal Government was formed. The US was actually the accumulated strengths of its then 24 States. The Feds or US, coordinated the actions between the states and represented the states as a whole on the international level.
This worked great for a long time, but anytime you create a government, the only thing it ever wants to do is to grow and become more centralized. It wants to control that which it can not control.
In the North, things were busy and complex and generally, a centralizing government was a good thing. Litigation, immigration, taxation, transit taxes, you name it, the Feds assisted in coordinating.
In the South they resented this. Each State was quite comfortable about setting its own rules and codes of conduct. The North told the South to get rid of slave because it was immoral. Really, it was because of the economics of slave labor. The Southern States resented this. The Feds told the South what to do on a wide variety of things, all of which, on principle alone, were resented by the South.
Even good ideas caused resentment. They felt that the Central Government was exceeding its Constitutionally limited powers; and perhaps it was, in principle.
The election of 1860 was important in that is saw the dissolution of the Whigs and the rise of the GOP. It also saw the first GOP president in one Abraham Lincoln.
The South had felt, for a long time, that the Feds were over reaching in their influence and talked about leaving the United States Union. The Constitution did not provide for any State to leave and the North read the Constitution literally.
This was no gentleman's club that you could opt out of. Get rid of the Slaves and compete on even ground, or else.
Lincoln supported the "or else" clause of the Constitution.
So when everyone sitting around the table said, "Who will be President?" and all the hands pointed here an there.
Of course, since there were 19 "Northern" states and only 11 "Southern" states, it was the North who selected the President. Hello, Mr. Lincoln.
South Carolina was the first to congratulate Mr. Lincoln. They threw a shoe, a chamber pot, and a chair at him. This was followed by Virginia flipping their table over and pulling a gun out.
West Virginia pulled away from his brother and sided with the North. Ah, brother fighting brother.
In short order, other Southern states began to flip over their tables and charge their Northern counterparts. A huge brawl broke out and the South showed just how scrappy it could be. Maryland went down under a pile of Virginian, South and North Carolinian fists. Pennsylvania had his pants pulled down, his shirt pulled up over his head and then had an atomic wedgie performed upon them.
The North did not seem very prepared for this. For quite some time all they could do was to hold off their Southern cousins. Knee biting, crotching, and eye poking were the rule of the day.
The West looked up from their panning, looked back down and threw up a fist and pumped it. "We're with you, Yankees!", and then went back to panning.
Britain, looking for a way to break up the US after being humiliated by them twice in the last 80 years, began to court the southern states.
He wandered around the fight and whispered at some of the Southern States. He told them that if they won their fight, then Britain would be their very good friend. They would recognize them and help to protect them from the big, bad, north.
The Northern states promptly blockaded the South to keep Britain from slipping the Southerners any weapons or money. Several of the Northern States took a break from throwing beer bottles at the South to first eye Britain and then flip them off.
France was not quiet at this time either. Anxious to bring Mexico back into the French table, they too began to hover. They menaced a bruised and beaten Mexico, still hurt from the thrashing they received a few years earlier. It looked l like the Monroe Doctrine was going to be used for Toilet paper and that Mexico was going to become a slave colony to France. Europe was salivating over a broken and humiliated United States. Oh, what a different world it would have been.
Eventually, the North, realizing that it outclassed the South in every category from height (a full 2 feet!), reach, and punching power, began to get serious.
With a single hand, Virginia was pulled off Pennsylvania's back by several northern states and thrown head first onto the bar, smashing whiskey bottles the whole way.
Mississippi and Louisiana were knocked senseless by Indiana and Iowa. Then, a group of Northerners began to wade in amongst the most Southern of States. In quick succession, Tennessee had a pool stick broken across the bridge of its nose and he went down. A boot to the throat of Alabama put them down. Georgia, oh my God, poor Georgia. I almost can not write about them. As Alabama went down, Georgia mooned Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio out of some insane spite. New York was there too, I believe. They all tore into Georgia like a monkey on a cupcake. Screaming, yelling and blood chilling cries came from the bottom of that pile.
Jeans, a shirt, a shoe, and a spleen flew from the pile, the spleen hitting the window of the bar and slid, squeaking to the floor. Florida tried to come to Georgia's aid but a salt shaker first hit them on the bridge of the nose and then a serving tray was bent over his head. He crawled away from the fight and hoped it would pass by him.
After Georgia was left twitching in the fetal position, the Northern Gang proceeded to pound the grits out of South Carolina. They started it all, anyhow. Man, the screams still echo out in the street. With a boot print on the back of South Carolina's head, it was the turn of North Carolina.
North Carolina put up both hands and yelled, "No Mas!" but to no avail. The Yankees tore him down as badly as they did South Carolina.
Virginia was backed into a corner and was eventually put into a headlock by several Northern States. A huge bowie knife was pointed at the nether regions of Virginia by the Yankees that where still dripping blood and hair from their last set of victims.
Even Virginia knew the fight was over. California and the other Western States rebuffed every attempt a joining the South. Frankly, if they weren't drunk they were looking for gold. Sometimes they even looked for gold while drunk.
Virginia surrendered and the table began to be re-knit. It was the worst fight that the US had ever been in. Ever. No other fight before or since had caused so much blood to be shed.
England ran back across the room at high speed, bottles and knives in pursuit. France began to whistle and wander back to their part of the bar, hands in their pockets, when confronted with a huffing and puffing Northern Gang standing behind Mexico. My, did France look small.
It was not until Spain decided to poke the bear that the US got involved again in 1898. Southern States and Northern States bonded as only war can bond a people. It felt good to have their fingers in the a full head of Spanish hair. They bounced and punted Spain from one end of the bar to the other all night. We were ready for WWI, now.
In reality, France and Britain were terrified of this resurgent US. More than 3 Million battle trained veterans now stood on American soil. Canada and Mexico remained free of US soldiers only because we chose to leave them free.
We had more men under arms than the entire standing armies of Europe AND their reserves. Even the Grand Army of Napoleon was 1/3rd the size of our military. No sir, no one wanted to mess with that US. Better to wait until he got flabby and bored with the world and then start to cause some trouble.
So, there you go. The Civil War in a nutshell. All those casualties. In the sense of Slavery, it was a win. Everyone was now free. In the sense of State's Rights, everyone lost. The over-reaching Federal Government of today traces it roots back to the victory of the North over the South.
States rights ARE and CAN be limited beyond the scope of the Constitution. I know what the document SAYS, but I can also read all the Civil War monuments scattered around the North and the South. They will listen to the Central Government or they will pay a price in either liberties, wealth, or war.
Live well.
--Zavost.
Yes, it is time for another installment history, as seen on the set of a vast bar room, complete with whiskey and women.
So here we go. This will be bloody.
We fast forward about 100 years from the beginning of the Revolutionary Bar Room. The world is not a whole lot different in 1850 then it was in 1750. Great Britain is still great. France is still a world power, though in an obvious state of decline. Napoleon is long dead and Napoleon III is a far cry from his great uncle's abilities.
Austria-Hungary is still a major player, though the rebellions of 1848 have shown the world that it is hardly a stable or safe place to live. Ditto for Russia. The Ottoman Turks are in a free-fall of decline. Their weapons and economy better suited for a Medieval fair than the real world.
The United States has been growing into a precocious young man. Tall, strong, cocky. He pounded Mexico, no PILE-DRIVED Mexico into the dirt and seized vast tracks of land just a few short years ago. Canada understood where it was in relation to the new power to the South. It certainly was not 1777 or 1813 anymore. Populous and Industrial, the US was a force to be reckoned with on the world stage.
So, we find the US at a large table, spread over a large corner of the bar. It is somewhat broken up by region. There is a Northern part of the table, comprised of 16 States in the North, 11 States in the South, and 3 States in the West. In the middle were the Territories.
The North is a busy place. Immigrants pouring in from a sucky European homeland, eager for the fresh start offered by the US. Massive factories and industries are located in the North. The largest harbors and shipping sites for both rail and ocean shipping are located here. Busy and cold, the North was full of hardy folk.
The South was more agrarian, slower paced, and accepting of slave labor. Most of the Southern State's chairs had many, many people tied by a leash to them. In the North, immigrants provided the cheap labor needed in the factories. In the South, slaves provided virtually FREE labor to their plantations and factories.
The West was more interested in Gold than anything else. Gold and trade. We'll get back to them in a while.
Slavery was a big issue between the States seated at that table. The Northern States did not use slavery and never really did since the colonial days. They were also unhappy with having to compete with Southern companies that used slave labor since that meant they could undercut Northern products on price.
Again, the West is crouching down under the table panning for gold in the liquids running out of the bathroom. Lets hope they don't find anything...
Many of the history books get it wrong and say that this was ALL about slavery. It was not. It was as much about economics and political freedom as it was about slavery.
See, since 1787, a Federal Government was formed. The US was actually the accumulated strengths of its then 24 States. The Feds or US, coordinated the actions between the states and represented the states as a whole on the international level.
This worked great for a long time, but anytime you create a government, the only thing it ever wants to do is to grow and become more centralized. It wants to control that which it can not control.
In the North, things were busy and complex and generally, a centralizing government was a good thing. Litigation, immigration, taxation, transit taxes, you name it, the Feds assisted in coordinating.
In the South they resented this. Each State was quite comfortable about setting its own rules and codes of conduct. The North told the South to get rid of slave because it was immoral. Really, it was because of the economics of slave labor. The Southern States resented this. The Feds told the South what to do on a wide variety of things, all of which, on principle alone, were resented by the South.
Even good ideas caused resentment. They felt that the Central Government was exceeding its Constitutionally limited powers; and perhaps it was, in principle.
The election of 1860 was important in that is saw the dissolution of the Whigs and the rise of the GOP. It also saw the first GOP president in one Abraham Lincoln.
The South had felt, for a long time, that the Feds were over reaching in their influence and talked about leaving the United States Union. The Constitution did not provide for any State to leave and the North read the Constitution literally.
This was no gentleman's club that you could opt out of. Get rid of the Slaves and compete on even ground, or else.
Lincoln supported the "or else" clause of the Constitution.
So when everyone sitting around the table said, "Who will be President?" and all the hands pointed here an there.
Of course, since there were 19 "Northern" states and only 11 "Southern" states, it was the North who selected the President. Hello, Mr. Lincoln.
South Carolina was the first to congratulate Mr. Lincoln. They threw a shoe, a chamber pot, and a chair at him. This was followed by Virginia flipping their table over and pulling a gun out.
West Virginia pulled away from his brother and sided with the North. Ah, brother fighting brother.
In short order, other Southern states began to flip over their tables and charge their Northern counterparts. A huge brawl broke out and the South showed just how scrappy it could be. Maryland went down under a pile of Virginian, South and North Carolinian fists. Pennsylvania had his pants pulled down, his shirt pulled up over his head and then had an atomic wedgie performed upon them.
The North did not seem very prepared for this. For quite some time all they could do was to hold off their Southern cousins. Knee biting, crotching, and eye poking were the rule of the day.
The West looked up from their panning, looked back down and threw up a fist and pumped it. "We're with you, Yankees!", and then went back to panning.
Britain, looking for a way to break up the US after being humiliated by them twice in the last 80 years, began to court the southern states.
He wandered around the fight and whispered at some of the Southern States. He told them that if they won their fight, then Britain would be their very good friend. They would recognize them and help to protect them from the big, bad, north.
The Northern states promptly blockaded the South to keep Britain from slipping the Southerners any weapons or money. Several of the Northern States took a break from throwing beer bottles at the South to first eye Britain and then flip them off.
France was not quiet at this time either. Anxious to bring Mexico back into the French table, they too began to hover. They menaced a bruised and beaten Mexico, still hurt from the thrashing they received a few years earlier. It looked l like the Monroe Doctrine was going to be used for Toilet paper and that Mexico was going to become a slave colony to France. Europe was salivating over a broken and humiliated United States. Oh, what a different world it would have been.
Eventually, the North, realizing that it outclassed the South in every category from height (a full 2 feet!), reach, and punching power, began to get serious.
With a single hand, Virginia was pulled off Pennsylvania's back by several northern states and thrown head first onto the bar, smashing whiskey bottles the whole way.
Mississippi and Louisiana were knocked senseless by Indiana and Iowa. Then, a group of Northerners began to wade in amongst the most Southern of States. In quick succession, Tennessee had a pool stick broken across the bridge of its nose and he went down. A boot to the throat of Alabama put them down. Georgia, oh my God, poor Georgia. I almost can not write about them. As Alabama went down, Georgia mooned Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio out of some insane spite. New York was there too, I believe. They all tore into Georgia like a monkey on a cupcake. Screaming, yelling and blood chilling cries came from the bottom of that pile.
Jeans, a shirt, a shoe, and a spleen flew from the pile, the spleen hitting the window of the bar and slid, squeaking to the floor. Florida tried to come to Georgia's aid but a salt shaker first hit them on the bridge of the nose and then a serving tray was bent over his head. He crawled away from the fight and hoped it would pass by him.
After Georgia was left twitching in the fetal position, the Northern Gang proceeded to pound the grits out of South Carolina. They started it all, anyhow. Man, the screams still echo out in the street. With a boot print on the back of South Carolina's head, it was the turn of North Carolina.
North Carolina put up both hands and yelled, "No Mas!" but to no avail. The Yankees tore him down as badly as they did South Carolina.
Virginia was backed into a corner and was eventually put into a headlock by several Northern States. A huge bowie knife was pointed at the nether regions of Virginia by the Yankees that where still dripping blood and hair from their last set of victims.
Even Virginia knew the fight was over. California and the other Western States rebuffed every attempt a joining the South. Frankly, if they weren't drunk they were looking for gold. Sometimes they even looked for gold while drunk.
Virginia surrendered and the table began to be re-knit. It was the worst fight that the US had ever been in. Ever. No other fight before or since had caused so much blood to be shed.
England ran back across the room at high speed, bottles and knives in pursuit. France began to whistle and wander back to their part of the bar, hands in their pockets, when confronted with a huffing and puffing Northern Gang standing behind Mexico. My, did France look small.
It was not until Spain decided to poke the bear that the US got involved again in 1898. Southern States and Northern States bonded as only war can bond a people. It felt good to have their fingers in the a full head of Spanish hair. They bounced and punted Spain from one end of the bar to the other all night. We were ready for WWI, now.
In reality, France and Britain were terrified of this resurgent US. More than 3 Million battle trained veterans now stood on American soil. Canada and Mexico remained free of US soldiers only because we chose to leave them free.
We had more men under arms than the entire standing armies of Europe AND their reserves. Even the Grand Army of Napoleon was 1/3rd the size of our military. No sir, no one wanted to mess with that US. Better to wait until he got flabby and bored with the world and then start to cause some trouble.
So, there you go. The Civil War in a nutshell. All those casualties. In the sense of Slavery, it was a win. Everyone was now free. In the sense of State's Rights, everyone lost. The over-reaching Federal Government of today traces it roots back to the victory of the North over the South.
States rights ARE and CAN be limited beyond the scope of the Constitution. I know what the document SAYS, but I can also read all the Civil War monuments scattered around the North and the South. They will listen to the Central Government or they will pay a price in either liberties, wealth, or war.
Live well.
--Zavost.
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