Different Paths

Atop the Stoa this hot day, was and am, pondering about life's paths.

The thought came to me last night as I was dressing a nasty laceration on a little girl's shin. The mom brought her over to my home knowing that I was in the medical field. Her husband is on deployment and she was not sure what to do or if it needed stitches. I could see that she was nervous and a bit queasy about the blood and the sight of the wound and I did my best to put both her and her daughter at ease.

We in the medical profession forget that seeing muscle strands and fat cells exposed on a leg is not a normal thing for most people to see. It is as normal for me to see that stuff as it is for me to see a blue sky. It pays for us to remember this, since part of our duty as caregivers is to place our patients at ease so we may treat them better.

As usual, my mind wandered afterwards, thinking about the mother and this stoic little girl (she did not cry once as I cleaned out her wound). Her life's path brought her to my front door. She did not possess the basic first aid kit needed to dress this wound (neither of us had the Tetanus shot required either), nor did she have the training to do it properly.

This is not a mark against her at all. We all have different skill sets and talents based on our upbringing, life circumstances, and ambitions. Near as I can tell, she is a home maker. I adore this profession, not because I am a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal, but because I see "moms" as being the societal glue that holds the generations together. They transmit the cultural values onto the next generation. They tame the aggressive little boys into individuals who DO NOT hit girls or try to rob them at night. A mom's love may have changed Hitler's outlook on life to be a little less bleak.

Some women are not cut out to be house-moms (hausfrau). My wife, for example, pegs a large portion of her self-esteem and value on her professional training. Being a house-mom is torture for her. Not because she is not good at what she does, she is an incredible mom, but because she knows she is capable of contributing so much more; and the children will not be children forever. Her path is different from my neighbor's path, and rightly so.

Looking back, my path has been a winding one, full of ups and downs. Some more down than up, but so what, it has been a good life over all. I have a wife of almost 20 years, two healthy and intelligent children, I have my health, even if I am too heavy, and I have my iPad 2. Life is good.

I currently share my path with my wife and children, and hope to remain on this path for quite some time. Some day, my children will take other paths, just as I took my own away from my parents. My wife not only took a new path, but had to take an international jet to get on my path. The day will come someday when death takes me or her from our joint path.

My neighbor appears content to be a military wife. She has 4 children and appears to be a good mom. I'm sure that life is not all honey and roses for her, just as we all have our ups and downs in life. She is on a path and will remain there until she chooses otherwise.

Our current President also had a winding path. One that took him from his father, who gave young Barack something like 17 half-brothers and sisters around the world, and dropped him on a tropical island with his mother. A mother who then abandoned him to the ministering of black supremacists, and if the rumors are correct, at least on child molester. His path took him to the Office of the US President. Not bad, even if he is the most ill-suited person to ever, and I mean EVER, hold that office. President William Henry Harrison was a better president by far.

Look at the old photos you come across out in the world and think about the people in them. Most are likely dead. Same as with all the old black and white films with people in them. Each and every one of them was a baby once, with their own doting, or lazy, parents. Every one of them had the promise of a fresh world for them to explore and conquer. Some succeeded, but most did not. Some had full, rich, and fulfilling lives, but most did not. Historically, the world has been a cold and uncompromising place. Society, a mosh-pit of competing interests and desires. Anyone who can find joy in this world has succeeded in life.

Even if you spend your whole life in a library reading books, you know, those things not in e-format, and never marry, then you have had a happy life; if that is what you desired to do. If you rose to be the CEO and lived through 5 divorces and have 8 children through 6 different women and that is what you wanted to do, then you have succeeded. We all have our differing levels of ambition and commitment to our desires. If one is able to look inward and find that which they want to do in life and are able to do it, then they will have a fulfilled life. Sometimes, responsibility to one's family or organization preclude your ability to lead a fulfilled life, but at least you can still lead a happy one. For me, being happy is my life's fulfillment. An interestingly circular logic there, but it works for me.

Live well.

--Zavost